What do goals have to do with cooking, sewing, and quilting? I know what you're thinking because I'd be thinking that too. Please allow me a little bit of being what seems to be off topic and keep reading. Hopefully, you'll see how it all fits together.
We all set goals in the business world. When your boss does your annual review, they ask what would you like to accomplish professionally over the next year. Sometimes they give you the goals they would like you to accomplish. At the end of the year, there's a very big chance that it won't matter what wonderful things you've accomplished if it's not on that list.
We all need to set goals in our personal life as well. Yes, you need goals if you are a stay at home mom. Yes, you need goals if you are an empty nester. Our personal life and our family should be our number one priority after God. I know that some of you are thinking that you have to make your job your number one priority because you've got to bring in the money. These are hard times. I understand that all too well. Until last year, I was in the middle of the job comes first because we had to have my income to survive life. I spent two years working full-time and going to school full-time at night to get my degree in Paralegal Studies. Had a 4.0 gpa the entire time I was in school. I never saw my husband or friends. My life was consumed with going from someone with just a job to someone with a career. School was the only thing I could think of 24/7. I had no life outside of work and school. I gave up what I knew was my true calling as a full-time wife to become the career woman that society expected me to be.
I suffer from several chronic pain diseases that took my ability to work outside the home away in 2009. What I can do here at home has drastically change as well. Once my pain was somewhat under control, I had to learn to accept that I would never be able to have the career I had busted my backside to get. It was a time of thinking about my life that was and how it would never be again. I thought of how hard I had worked and sacrificed for something that in the end meant nothing. I realized how much I had changed from the woman I had been prior to entering the working world. I realized that I had followed the expectations of man and not those of God.
I knew that I had to take control by spending the few dollars that we had for food and household items wisely. I knew I need realistic goals that I could actually meet. I set a goal of becoming the woman that I had been when the children were small and I was a stay at home mom. I started looking for ways to go back to being the me that cooked from scratch so that we were eating in a way that was better for us fiscally and physically. I wanted to go back to being the woman who could whip up fashionable clothes that were better made than what I could buy in the store at a fraction of the cost. I wanted to go back to being a good wife to my husband and being a good mother and grandmother. I wanted a clean, organized and inviting home. Most of all, I wanted to be sure I was the woman that God wanted me to be.
I can think of no better way of accomplishing becoming the woman God wants me to be than following the God inspired advice given to King Lemuel by his mother in Proverbs 31:10 - 31:
10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Having a noble character is an excellent attribute for anyone. When a wife and mother has this character, to me it means that her husband can put his full faith in her and not have to worry about the workings of his household. A wife of noble character will use the money that has been entrusted to her wisely. She will see to it that their financial commitments are taken care of promptly. Nutritious meals will be prepared within the budget set aside for food. The house will be neat and clean as will the children. An attempt will be made for the house and children to be neat and clean!! (Children will be children and most of the time that means they will make messes and be dirty! I believe that they should be allowed to make those messes and get dirty but that's a topic for another post!) To me, it all boils down to her being dedicated to caring for her home and family by being the helpmeet that God intended for her to be.
I personally love to sew so I take verse 13 literally and make clothing for me and our grandchildren. I also make other fabric items to be used around the house - dish towels, curtains, quilts, etc. While I love this kind of work, there are many who don't or they don't have the skills to do it. In that case, I take this verse to mean that however garments and household things come into the home the purchases are made wisely and are of the best quality the budget allows. (Key word here is allows. We all need to learn the difference between wanting and needing as well as staying in budget.) We are to take care of these items so that they are useful to the family for a good amount of time.
Verse 14 reminds me of grocery shopping. Sometimes in order to get the best value for our food budget, we have to really "study" those ads and be familiar with pricing at the stores where we shop. We clip coupons and look for sale and clearance items. It may mean driving "afar" to get the best deals. Just be sure the extra gas expense is not more than your savings.
The hardest verse for me is 15 because I am NOT a morning person. Up before daylight??? Do I hafta? I really don't function well until around 11 am and after I've had a Diet Coke! I've been this way all my life but as my fibromyalgia has gotten worse my ability to function early in the morning has gotten worse. I feel this verse is saying that she should be the first to get up every day and making sure that her family has a good, nutritious breakfast and nutritious lunches are prepared for those going to work and school. And clean clothes for the family is nice as well. If you are here with me striving to become a Proverbs 31 woman, you probably don't have a housekeeper (servant girl) so we can mark that part off the list.. Wouldn't it be nice to have someone come in and clean and cook while you read the newest quilting and sewing magazines?<GRIN>
I know that many of you are thinking "you want me to get up before anyone else, fix them breakfast and lunch, clean the house, sew our clothes, buy groceries wisely and now verses 16 - 19 wants me to work from home too?" Well, maybe. I think there are two interpretations that we can go with here. One interpretation would be that a Proverbs 31 woman is frugal with the family money and she makes sure that she is getting the best buy on the quality goods that her family needs. She works hard at doing this even if it means staying up after the children are asleep to do research to be sure that they are purchasing the best item for their needs at the best price. Then there is the idea that she is suppose to literally contribute extra money to the budget. We aren't talking running a major corporation out of your home single handily. What I do think this means is that she looks for a way to add a little extra income to her husband's salary. Maybe it's doing daycare in her home. Maybe it's turning a hobby of sewing, knitting, etc.into a small Etsy or similar business. There are all sorts of ways to earn money at home.
We are all called by our Lord to contribute to society in His name. She should find her niche in the community to help others. There are so many ways we can give of our time to help those less fortunate. It might be volunteering at a food bank, shelter or through or for our church.
The Proverbs 31 woman is prepared. She keeps a well stocked pantry and medicine chest and has enough blankets, sheets, towels, etc. for her family's use. She has a strong faith in God to help her family through trials and tribulations. She knows that He is always there for her.
As I walk my journey toward being a Proverbs 31 woman, I'll share my adventures in cooking, sewing,and housekeeping. Together, we can become the women that God wants us to be for our husbands and children. We'll have fun together celebrating triumphs and learning through failures. Along the way we'll try out new recipes, new sewing projects and techniques, learn to quilt, try new housekeeping and organization methods and all sorts of things in between.
I invite you to join me on my way to a simpler life here on Apple Creek Cove.
Cynthia
